I am JUDGEMENTAL and it is something I’ve been working on because it was something I learned at a young age. I was surrounded by people who would criticize others often and for little or no reason. Perhaps that is why I was such a fierce independent. I knew that whatever I did I’d have been judged as a bad person for it. And it was all on someone elses values. I may have felt wonderful about what I was doing but when brought forward to certain people in my life I knew I was judged for it. It happened to me so often that it became just a part of what I did too. So, if I’m harsh with you or make an unthoughtful and uncaring comment about someone please know that I probably said it too fast. I have found that over time I can speak with less of a judgemental bent if I stand back a little bit farther and try and look at the whole picture.
The closer you are to me, more time you spend with me and the more you spend with me, the more likely you are to hear the unfiltered garbage I spew. But if you’re my friend you will call me on it. You will tell me I’m totally out of line and I will flat out admit it and accept that I was wrong, and even do something to fix it. Because judgmental is something I’ve been working on for many years. And some days I have it licked. Done gone, all that I say is loving and open minded and sees truth.
I am a TRUTH SEEKER That means I value truth over all things. That means all those judgemental things I said are less important that the truth and this also mean I’ve accepted that the truth is more important than the judgemental things said about me. You see oppressors oppress because they have been oppressed and judgemental people are judgemental because they have been judged or fear being judged. I seek the truth. I seek the reasons behind actions and try to see the truth before I speak. Perhaps that’s why I have developed such an intuitive nature. Truth is more important than fitting in. It’s true for me and it’s true for others. Because in truth I can sleep at night and I can fully enjoy the embrace of my children.
Being judged and being judgemental and being unhappy with the results of that label is what has made me a truth seeker. I feel like these two terms are forever intertwined. I am both but I’m working towards one day only being the truth seeker and knower. Judgemental serves no purpose except to help me seek the truth. I judge less than I was ever judged but I still feel it is too much. I am here to love and be loved and that is the truth I seek.