Day 4 – I Am Married

And it just so happens that today is our third anniversary. Married is something I learned from my parents and my husband from his. Married means I’m no longer looking for love, I’ve found it. It means I’ve committed to follow this love through easy and rough times. And if you know me, there has been plenty of both over the last twelve years of our relationship. The ‘married’ part of the label only applies to the last three years. What a shame it doesn’t take into account nine years prior of our committed relationship. That’s because in this society, marriage is something that is more caught up in the pagentry of the wedding and the politics of getting married.

What we have has never varied. I set those standards for myself. I laid all the card on the table as to what the ‘deal breakers’ were and even as some of the rules got a little grey – like cronically not putting the lid on the toothpaste or picking up laundry, I somehow managed to remember how much love we have. Luckily he loves me just as much as I love him. If you believe it’s possible, like I do – it was love at first sight. Sounds like an unrealistic fantasy – but it’s true. We started dating the day after we met and have been inseperable ever since.

As I look back with the things I’ve come to understand today. I am positive we signed a soul contract. We are here to teach each other some wonderful things. We are compliments to each other’s strengths. We are more different than alike but our values and desires for live and harmony over-rule a lot of the BS.

Married means I may browse through the manly brawn of Trueblood but I know my imperfect husband loves the imperfect me.  I don’t writhe with jealousy whenever he chats with another woman, nor doe he worry about me. Married is a label that really means something to us.  Now, I’m sure some people scoff at me.  In this age of divorce and single-parents, the term married gets a ‘nod and smile’ kind of response along with a lot of ‘good lucks’ and side bets on how long it will last. That means that we’ve had to work hard. We’ve had to stuck through times when others would have given up. We’ve chosen each other, when it truly might have gone either way.

Married is a label I wear proudly and I defend the rights of others to have if they want it regardless of their gender or religion or choice of live-long partner. Marriage is a commitment of love and although we go through all the hoops and legalities that society demands, my husband and I have truly been married 12 years and not just three.

Happy Anniversary, Hunny!

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